melissawilliams

Who else?  That's right, Expressen...

How would they know that?  I have no idea myself, but it does sound extreme!

As I explained in Du Är Vad Du Äter, something snapped in my brain when I got pregnant the first time.  In 4 years, I had 2 pregnancies and an overseas move.  I divorced, started over with nothing.  Studied the language. Got a job selling furniture.  Started singing again...all the while doing my best to put my children first.  After they were born, I never cared about a "career" again.  I would be happy singing part time at weddings, but the Universe opened doors I never even thought about knocking on and the rest is history.

I have worked my ass off and sometimes failed anyway.  What do you do then?  Yes, well...when you are a mother, overseas, with no back up of any kind, you just work your ass off or die trying.  Sometimes, it has gone well.  Sometimes, it went to hell in a hand basket. 

Many, many nights can be lost when you are trying to make it work.  When you are scared in a very deep and real way.  You are tired.  You lie down, but can't turn off the broken record player of fear.  There have been 2 times in 13 years
that I have needed strong sleeping pills; once when I was cheated on and I thought my world was coming to an end and again when I divorced and started over with no job, no language, no apartment to call my own.  The doctors  were, of course, not going to give me those for more than 2 weeks and during my fight to sleep, I have taken mostly non-prescription pills or health food herbs and maybe a non-addictive, mild prescription pill that doesn't put you to sleep, but rather, helps you sleep a little longer.  No where near the number or the strength that Expressen wants to shock people with.

I feel hunted by the tabloid press.

It's funny, I really just wanted to watch an industry that had been so kind to me move forward.  I wanted to see my colleagues do well and show what they can do.  I am ashamed when crap, inflated articles focus on me instead of my colleagues who really rise to the occasion every week!  "Knark-Bråk!" "Sleeping Pills"...you name it!!  I feel stupid that I thought and acted and believed so naively!! 

Why is it so difficult to see me as a human being?